Von Smith
"You're All I Need to Get By" - Marvin Gaye
Here's where I'm gonna catch flack. When Von was doing that whole white boy possessed by the spirit of Aretha Franklin's skinnier self, he had certain moments of brilliance amongst the over-the-top nature of everything he was doing. He's toned it down for his semi-final performance, but I think he made a mistake. Von just needs to find a way to mix and match these two aspects.
Grade: B
Taylor Vaifanua
"If Ain't I Got You" - Alicia Keys
Taylor struggles a bit with the beginning, but she hits the chorus very nicely. Actually, her voice is really clean and clear, but there a lack of passion and energy throughout the performance. Overall it's a bit disappointing because you can hear shades of excellence. Maybe her voice just doesn't work as a stand out pop voice, despite how good it is.
Grade: B-
Alex Wagner-Trugman
"I Guess That's Why They Call it the Blues" - Elton John
I'm glad Idol finally managed to find a personality type other than ditzy blonde country singer with jugs. And that's the only real explanation as to how Alex made the Top 36. He's got a voice, but if his performance choices tonight are any indication of what he did in Hollywood... shame of the judges. He growls at the beginning which is okay sparingly, but then over does it like he's Screaming Jay Hawkins. He does pull a Taylor Hicks when he accidently knocks over the microphone stand.
Grade: C-
Arianna Afsar
"The Winner Takes it All" - ABBA
Arianna is another one of the numerous 16 year old women that really shouldn't have been put through because they're not ready for the show. Arianna does a half and half performance for me. She's one of the few teens I've seen who kind of gets they need to have a really strong emotional connection to the song rather than just a big voice. Unfortunately, the song just gets away from her completely and she's off-key more than on. The judges crush her spirit (Simon especially) and I hate seeing them rip into these teen girls. But she did flounder quite a bit.
Grade: D
Ju'Not Joyner
"Hey There Delilah" - Plain White Tees
So Ju'Not is the first contestant to actually alter the original arrangement of a song. It's an interesting take on the song. Pop-punk turned into a soulful number. However, the energy and beat of the song gets lost in this translation. Ju'Not can sing really well, but I sincerely doubt that if he were to make T12 he'd last longer than maybe two weeks doing stuff like that. It's dull, but good. Like Taylor.
Grade: B-
Kristen McNamara
"Give Me One Reason" - Tracy Chapman
Ok, Kristen also does a different take on "Give Me One Reason," but the arrangement is terrible. it's so terrible that I can think of three ways she should've arranged it that would've sounded one hundred percent better and might've gotten her a spot in the T12. Listening to her voice (after raging about her butchering the arrangement) she's got a fantastic voice. It's kind of reminiscent of the big band era voices, fun, playful, and very strong and clear.
Grade: B-
Nathaniel Marshall
"I Would Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That)" - Meatloaf
I... really have no words. In a round where you can choose practically anything to really show yourself off as an artist, you choose this insipid, pointless arrangment of one of the most overwrought songs (that would get somebody through on idol with a capable vocal) on the planet? Get the fuck off the stage. Utterly useless.
Grade: F
Felicia Barton
"No One" - Alicia Keys
Felicia is the one contestant who missed out on a place in T36 originally, but got resurrected because of JoplantaGate. Felicia has this great husky element to her voice, but she's got a bit of range as well. She's got a lot of soul and funk too. She's easily one of the best female contestants not only tonight, but in the T36. I think she's pushing a bit more than she should at points, but there are points where she loosens up and is jsut outstanding. Great unique voice, strong performance. I'm really hoping she makes it to T12.
Grade: A
Scott MacIntyre
"Mandolin Rain" - Bruce Hornsby
I was ready to be annoyed by Scott only because I figured no matter how he did, he was going to get through because America is a giant crying sympathy vehicle. However, he actually proves he deserves the top male spot tonight. It's not completely in tune vocally, but there is a lot of emotion and joy in what he's doing, which I frankly haven't seen in any of the contestants outside of maybe Adam, Alexis's results night take on her song, and bits of Felicia's performance. If he continues down this path of left-field song choices, he can stay.
Grade: A-
Kendall Beard
"This One's For the Girls" - Kendall Beard
Kendall looks like a stand in for Kirsten Dunst in Legally Blonde 3: Dream Warriors. Also, she's terrible, reedy, and cannot hit a note to save her life. Nothing about the performance is smooth or good. It's awful and she looks like Paris Hilton, and judges don't even call her out on the terrible singing, ever, because she's kind of cute and a blonde ditz. I fucking hate this show.
Grade: F
Jorge Nunez
"Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me" - Elton John
Jorge is a nice likeable guy, but from what he's doing tonight, he's just going to be Ricky Ricardo meets Clay Aiken in a gay moan's bath house behind Simon Cowell's mansion. The vocal is actually full of heart and technically completely solid but the song is so completely lost on me because it's been done to death on idol so many times. Eh. I don't really care for this type of stuff but idol viewers typically eat it up.
Grade: Objectively, it is an A. Subjectively, B.
Lil Rounds
"Be Without You" - Mary J. Blige
I'm surprised that Lil chose this song, only because it doesn't require a whole lot of straight singing. It's cool and makes for a great dance track, but it's definitely not the best vocal of the song. I actually think Felicia could've done this song way better. Liil doesn't the funk in voice I'd expect. Plus she name checks herself in the song and demands that we vote for her mid-performance. Shut up.
Grade: B.
Should Go Through:
Felicia, Scott, I guess Lil
Who's Through:
Lil, Scott, Jorge/Ju'Not/Felicia
Wildcards:
Felicia, Jorge, Von
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Doogie Howser is Not Going, He's Staying
Jasmine Murray
"Love Song" - Sarah Barielles
Jasmine's voice has always been hit or miss for me. Sometimes, she nails her technique and her voice really rings out in a positive way. Other times, and I'll cite age and nerves as reasons, she goes straight into her nose and gets reedy and shrill. Her performance of "Love Song" demonstrates that aesthetically she's an absolute pleasure to watch and someday when she gets her shit together she'll be great, but vocally she has a bit of training left to do.
Grade: C-
Matt Giraud
"Viva La Vida" - Coldplay
Matt has the most awkward face ever. It always looks tense and scrunched up, like he just cleaned a particularly messy cat litter box. During the auditions, he had a great musicality about him, but he pisses it away on this song. His vocal interpretation doesn't match the arrangement, and the whole performance never comes together. Also, the are real issues with his vibrato here. It's the biggest fail of the night from one of the stronger contenders.
Grade: D+
Jeanine Vailes
"This Love" - Maroon 5
Jeanine hasn't been featured on the show yet. And she hopefully won't ever be again. She really is all legs though. The whole thing is just bad. Nothing more to say about it. Her singing sucks and her friend looks like Ugly Betty.
Grade: F
Nick Mitchell
"And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going" - Dreamgirls
Oh Nick. I kind of completely love him. It's like a classic SNL character showed up to audition for American Idol, almsot like a Gilda Radner, Will Ferrell, Chris Kattan (you cannot touch the MANGO!) or something. He's actually the first contestant who stays in tune for a good majority of the song. In the middle, his schtick gets in the way of his tuning, but like the singing was ever the point. I seriously thought it was the most flat out entertaining performance of the semi-finals thus far, and that has to count for something. Normund pulls out a pretty impressive glory note at the end of the entire thing. I'd love for him to get a call back in the WC. DOOGIE!
Grade: Personally? An A+. Objectively? B-.
Allison Iraheta
"Alone" - Heart
Holy crap, it's a rock version of Camile Velasco that can sing! Allison has terribly fake red hair and is so awkward in her Seacrest segment. The awkwardness is kind of endearing at first, but it'll grate should she move forward. I cringe when she says she's singing Heart's "Alone." Then my cringing is proven wrong. Allison has this really cool and natural raspy tone in her voice and she's totally owning the stage. Her top range isn't as full as her middle range, the performance is dramatic and verges on theatrical, and she kind of looks like a Rocky Horror Picture Show extra, but it's easily the best performance of the night and I think all of those things are absolutely fine.
Grade: A
Kris Allen
"Man in the Mirror" - Michael Jackson
Kris is another male contestant the show hasn't featured that much who ends up being pretty decent. The beginning isn't that strong and it's kind of easy to tell that Kris is waiting to open up, which bugs a bit. Pick a song that's good throughout, idol contestants. When he does open up, it's typical idol goodness, but really cheesy to me, even for this show. Solid singer though. I'm not sure. I can only take so many "up with people" contestants and we already have Danny Gokey in the finals.
Grade: B
Megan Joy Corkrey
"Put Your Records On" - Corrine Bailey Rae
Megan's a cool chick. She's quirky, fun, and got a bit of a sense of humor about her. Her tone is very unusual. Her voice naturally breaks throughout her range, but it's very listenable. I could see how the bodily ticks would bug some people, but I'm not really bothered by it. She really is kind of this combination of a throw back and contemporary jazz singer. I think there might have been one or two songs she could've really owned, but this easily one of the most interesting engaging performances of the night.
Grade: B+
Matt Breitkze
"If You Could Only See" - Tonic
Matt's performance is a perfect example of why the jduges can annoy me. All four judges can't put their finger on why the performance didn't move them, so they treat it like it was bad. They get it half right when they label it boring. The problem was that Matt took no risks, did no attempts at breaking out and being aggresive with a song that calls for it. He took a song full of tension and made it laid back, which was a mistake.
Grade: C+
Jesse Langseth
"Bette Davis Eyes" - Kim Carnes
I thought Jesse's performance was reminiscent of S4's Nadia Turner. Jesse's not one the younger girls nor does she act like it. Jesse's got this amazing tone and would be easily recognizable on the radio, and her phrasing is unique. She hits a few bum notes here and there, but her presence and vibe more than make up for it. "Bette Davis Eyes" doesn't lend itself to the idol format, but... fuck the format, I like a left-field choice here and there. She's a really hip chick. I hope she gets through, or at least a Wildcard. She's a very mature performer.
Grade: A-
Kai Kalama
"What Becomes of the Broken Hearted" - Jimmy Ruffin
Kai is techincally solid and proficient, but he's a total snoozefest. He really is background music, and I agree with Simon that he'd make an excellent back-up singer. Unlike Simon however, I don't think that's the worst thing in the world. He's okay, but unmarketable with the retro box he insists on staying in.
Grade: C
Mishavonna Henson
"Drops of Jupiter" - Train
Mishavonna is a S7 reject and if I got cut in favor of singers like Amy Davis, I'm not sure I wouldn't come back just to punch Simon in the face personally. She's got a nice voice, but she comes across as very serious and intense. Actually, she kind of reminds of Katharine McPhee with her phrasing and clothing style. The whole thing is well delivered and if this show were fair and about the performances on a given night, she'd be in contention for a WC bid. But I doubt we'll see her again, which is a shame.
Grade: B+
Adam Lambert
"(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" - The Rolling Stones
Adam is actually able to reap some form of useful advice from the judges critiques, thank deity. Or at least, he knows what they're saying: tone it down, cause you're all way up in the face of the viewer. However, I kind of think Adam either doesn't care, or knows enough about Idol to realize that his best bet with this format of the semi-finals is to be a big giant bag of flame. Adam is definitely an amazing live performer, no doubt about that. Where he'll run into troubleis with selling CDs. I like him well enough that if he were in town I'd go and catch his show, but I don't think I could deal with a CD of that over the top, but impressive, vocal style. But he should sail through tonight.
Grade: A
Should go through: Allison Iraheta, Jesse Langseth, Adam Lambert
Will go through: Allison, Adam, Kris Allen (though I won't count Matt Giraud out completely)
WCs: Jesse/Kris/Matt, Megan Corkrey
"Love Song" - Sarah Barielles
Jasmine's voice has always been hit or miss for me. Sometimes, she nails her technique and her voice really rings out in a positive way. Other times, and I'll cite age and nerves as reasons, she goes straight into her nose and gets reedy and shrill. Her performance of "Love Song" demonstrates that aesthetically she's an absolute pleasure to watch and someday when she gets her shit together she'll be great, but vocally she has a bit of training left to do.
Grade: C-
Matt Giraud
"Viva La Vida" - Coldplay
Matt has the most awkward face ever. It always looks tense and scrunched up, like he just cleaned a particularly messy cat litter box. During the auditions, he had a great musicality about him, but he pisses it away on this song. His vocal interpretation doesn't match the arrangement, and the whole performance never comes together. Also, the are real issues with his vibrato here. It's the biggest fail of the night from one of the stronger contenders.
Grade: D+
Jeanine Vailes
"This Love" - Maroon 5
Jeanine hasn't been featured on the show yet. And she hopefully won't ever be again. She really is all legs though. The whole thing is just bad. Nothing more to say about it. Her singing sucks and her friend looks like Ugly Betty.
Grade: F
Nick Mitchell
"And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going" - Dreamgirls
Oh Nick. I kind of completely love him. It's like a classic SNL character showed up to audition for American Idol, almsot like a Gilda Radner, Will Ferrell, Chris Kattan (you cannot touch the MANGO!) or something. He's actually the first contestant who stays in tune for a good majority of the song. In the middle, his schtick gets in the way of his tuning, but like the singing was ever the point. I seriously thought it was the most flat out entertaining performance of the semi-finals thus far, and that has to count for something. Normund pulls out a pretty impressive glory note at the end of the entire thing. I'd love for him to get a call back in the WC. DOOGIE!
Grade: Personally? An A+. Objectively? B-.
Allison Iraheta
"Alone" - Heart
Holy crap, it's a rock version of Camile Velasco that can sing! Allison has terribly fake red hair and is so awkward in her Seacrest segment. The awkwardness is kind of endearing at first, but it'll grate should she move forward. I cringe when she says she's singing Heart's "Alone." Then my cringing is proven wrong. Allison has this really cool and natural raspy tone in her voice and she's totally owning the stage. Her top range isn't as full as her middle range, the performance is dramatic and verges on theatrical, and she kind of looks like a Rocky Horror Picture Show extra, but it's easily the best performance of the night and I think all of those things are absolutely fine.
Grade: A
Kris Allen
"Man in the Mirror" - Michael Jackson
Kris is another male contestant the show hasn't featured that much who ends up being pretty decent. The beginning isn't that strong and it's kind of easy to tell that Kris is waiting to open up, which bugs a bit. Pick a song that's good throughout, idol contestants. When he does open up, it's typical idol goodness, but really cheesy to me, even for this show. Solid singer though. I'm not sure. I can only take so many "up with people" contestants and we already have Danny Gokey in the finals.
Grade: B
Megan Joy Corkrey
"Put Your Records On" - Corrine Bailey Rae
Megan's a cool chick. She's quirky, fun, and got a bit of a sense of humor about her. Her tone is very unusual. Her voice naturally breaks throughout her range, but it's very listenable. I could see how the bodily ticks would bug some people, but I'm not really bothered by it. She really is kind of this combination of a throw back and contemporary jazz singer. I think there might have been one or two songs she could've really owned, but this easily one of the most interesting engaging performances of the night.
Grade: B+
Matt Breitkze
"If You Could Only See" - Tonic
Matt's performance is a perfect example of why the jduges can annoy me. All four judges can't put their finger on why the performance didn't move them, so they treat it like it was bad. They get it half right when they label it boring. The problem was that Matt took no risks, did no attempts at breaking out and being aggresive with a song that calls for it. He took a song full of tension and made it laid back, which was a mistake.
Grade: C+
Jesse Langseth
"Bette Davis Eyes" - Kim Carnes
I thought Jesse's performance was reminiscent of S4's Nadia Turner. Jesse's not one the younger girls nor does she act like it. Jesse's got this amazing tone and would be easily recognizable on the radio, and her phrasing is unique. She hits a few bum notes here and there, but her presence and vibe more than make up for it. "Bette Davis Eyes" doesn't lend itself to the idol format, but... fuck the format, I like a left-field choice here and there. She's a really hip chick. I hope she gets through, or at least a Wildcard. She's a very mature performer.
Grade: A-
Kai Kalama
"What Becomes of the Broken Hearted" - Jimmy Ruffin
Kai is techincally solid and proficient, but he's a total snoozefest. He really is background music, and I agree with Simon that he'd make an excellent back-up singer. Unlike Simon however, I don't think that's the worst thing in the world. He's okay, but unmarketable with the retro box he insists on staying in.
Grade: C
Mishavonna Henson
"Drops of Jupiter" - Train
Mishavonna is a S7 reject and if I got cut in favor of singers like Amy Davis, I'm not sure I wouldn't come back just to punch Simon in the face personally. She's got a nice voice, but she comes across as very serious and intense. Actually, she kind of reminds of Katharine McPhee with her phrasing and clothing style. The whole thing is well delivered and if this show were fair and about the performances on a given night, she'd be in contention for a WC bid. But I doubt we'll see her again, which is a shame.
Grade: B+
Adam Lambert
"(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" - The Rolling Stones
Adam is actually able to reap some form of useful advice from the judges critiques, thank deity. Or at least, he knows what they're saying: tone it down, cause you're all way up in the face of the viewer. However, I kind of think Adam either doesn't care, or knows enough about Idol to realize that his best bet with this format of the semi-finals is to be a big giant bag of flame. Adam is definitely an amazing live performer, no doubt about that. Where he'll run into troubleis with selling CDs. I like him well enough that if he were in town I'd go and catch his show, but I don't think I could deal with a CD of that over the top, but impressive, vocal style. But he should sail through tonight.
Grade: A
Should go through: Allison Iraheta, Jesse Langseth, Adam Lambert
Will go through: Allison, Adam, Kris Allen (though I won't count Matt Giraud out completely)
WCs: Jesse/Kris/Matt, Megan Corkrey
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
A Zero Lies in You
So I finished catching up with American Idol and when you couple that with boredom and illness, you get a blog. I've got a little place in my heart of stone for this damned show. It's like crack that makes you fat and angry instead of skinny and shivering because your having withdrawl symptoms.
Jackie Tohn
"A Little Less Conversation" - Elvis Presley
Tonight Jackie has decided to look like a neon bowling pin for some inexplicable reason. She looks like she decided to show up and perform in a spray painted outfit. It's so shiny and distracting. It's actually the only notable thing about her performance. She's technically fine, but her tricksy vocal stylings (mostly the constant nasal growling) coupled with the drunken rocker wannabe stage movements do her no favors. She also opens the show and after eight years of watching the show, we should all know that's the death slot.
Grade: C
Also, when the contestants make it back for the Seacrest interview, they jsut hug each other for more camera time, I mean to comfort each other. Therefore, the red room is now going to be reffered to as Hug Central. Though I still think it looks some sort of new set for a 2009 version of Legends of the Hidden Temple. Find that Silver Monkey!
Ricky Braddy
"A Song For You" - Leon Russel, Donny Hathaway
So Ricky is one of the two semi-finalists who has not been shown singing on the show prior to the live rounds. This is never something that bodes well for a idol contestant. It's a shame the show lost him on the cutting room floor because this dude has definitely got a voice. He's very professional, his tone is completely smooth and it seems fairly effortless. I'd honestly be disappointed if he doesn't get a second chance at the Wildcard. I think he should be in the Top 12 based off that alone but there's just no way with backstory juggernauts Danny, Anoop, and Michael in this round that he can pull the votes away. I don't think we've scratched the surface of his capabilities yet.
Grade: A-
Alexis Grace
"I Never Loved A Man (The Way That I Love You)" - Aretha Franklin
Apparently the judges told her to "dirty up" for the later rounds, so she decided that looking like a drag queen version of Nikki McKibbin would serve that purpose. Well, she's right mostly. So Alexis starts to sing and she's really radiating some Dusty Springfield vibes here. She's nuanced when necessary, she knows what she's singing about, and she's in great voice throughout the whole song. There are one or two phrasing issues that concern me, but considering she didn't have to go into the whole big notes win votes place Idol tends to be about to demonstrate some real stage craft and technique, she's got my vote.
Grade: A-
Brent Keith
"Hicktown" - Jason Aldean
Brent Keith's clip package breaks the show, which is amusing because you can her panicking producers yelling at Seacrest the whole time while h'es just thinking "fuck it. I'm running the show." It's awesome to see Seacrest be good at improvising. Apparently, he originally auditioned for Idol to be a judge rather than a host. I wonder if that means Randy Jackson would've ended up hosting? *shudder* Oh yeah, Brent. I don't know the song because outside of maybe some Carrie Underwood and Dixie Chicks who are really more crossover artists than pure Country, I rarely encounter Country on my iPod, radio, whatever. Having said that, it's fairly obvious the song requires some real heavy personality in order to pull it off convincingly and Brent doesn't have personality, so it just falls flat performance wise.
Grade: C-
Stevie Wright
"You Belong With Me" - Taylor Swift
Oh dear. This is what always happens to some poor contestant that shows promise in the early rounds. Simon told her she was singing songs that were too old for her (she auditioned with "At Last"). When Simon or any of the judges say that, what they mean is that the song isn't believable for you or your age bracket. "At Last" is about finally finding your love match after searchign high and low, being alone and disappointed, and a 17 year old is just not going to be able to sing that with conviction. But Stevie thought he meant chronologically yougner, so she chooses a Taylor Swift song, and she somehow is worse than Taylor Swift on it. It's too low for her at the beginning, which tehn throws her out of tune for the rest of the song. The judges really skewer her. There are only two impressive/notable thing about this: Stevie manages to not cry and shows great poise and professionalism for her age, while her parents whine about the confusing judges. There's a Neil Patirck Harris sighting in the audience that is legen... wait for it... dary!
Stevie's Grade: F
NPH's Grade: A for awesome, as it should be. How do I vote for him?
Anoop Desai
"Angel of Mine" - Monica
Anoops has got a lot going into this round: he's gotten a fairly tentative but spupportive backstory from the editors that make him one to look out for, rather than one to wait for, and that can go a long way in this show. Unfortunately, I think Anoop has made a mistake with the song choice here. He sings well, but that's never been the problem, so when he applies his usual R&B crooner stylings, it comes off as a "been there, done that" scenario. What would've suited him better would have bringing some funk and groove during this round, or a bigger song. It doesn't feel like he's pushing himself, and it's a bit blah. He's definite top twelve material, but he might have to get in via the wildcard.
Anoop Dawg's Grade: B
Casey Carlson
"Every Little Thing She Does is Magic" - The Police
Every year, the producers and the judges push through some random attractive brunette into the semi-finals who can kind of sing, but is so clearly out of their depth at this point. Enter Casey Carlson. Actually, I wish she and Anoop would've switched songs, cause I bet he could've rearranged this well. As for Casey, she's playing it start, but she's not reggae nor is she pop punk, so she just compeltely misses the boat. When teh judges tell her how full of wrong she was in choosing that song, she counters that she wanted to have "fun with a fun song." And... that made me feel sorry for her. It came across that when she made the semi-finals I think even she knew she had no chance at advancing and was just hoping for passable. Randy and Kara have a kind of mean girls moment when they sing "every little thing she does is wrong," which was amusing.
Grade: F
Michael Sarver
"I Don't Want to Be" - Gavin DeGraw
I'm still in shock that "roughneck" qualifies as an actual job title. Michael looks a bit like the big marshmallow monster in Ghostbusters. What? He's wearing white, he's really tall, built like a linebacker, and kind of doing this weird Carlton Banks dance to the song which resembles the way that Godzilla destroys Tokyo. Boy has got zero body rhythm, which is something I can relate to. The performance is a bit strange for me. I liked his voice the most out of all the rounds we've seen him but I think the song is too agressive for his persona.
Grade: B-
Ann Marie Boskovich
"Natural Woman" - Carole King, Aretha Franklin
Enter attractive brunette number two, except Ann Marie's had a bit of a musician's vibe at her original audition. For some inexplicable reason, she's chosen to sing "Natural Woman." Has she never watched this show before? So, she's trying to phrase it like Carole King, but the arrangement is footed right into the Aretha version, and she's trying to belt. I think she could've really gotten away with this is she had stripped it down to just a piano backing and crooned her way through it. There are notes she just isn't reaching well, so the performance is anything but natural.
Grade: C-
Stephen Fowler
"Rock With You" - Michael Jackson
Remember when Stephen fucked up "Time of My Life," also known as the David Cook magic rainbows song? The show doesn't want you to forget. When he redeem himself at the semi-finals? Nope. This is really disappointing for me, as he was one of my favorites from Hollywood. Stephen's voice is really one of the most relevant, contemporary voices in this year's competition, and he's pissing it all away on "Rock With You." If he was insistent on Michael Jackson, he should've gone with "Man in the Mirror." Damn you Stephen for not going back to fantastic. So there's no chance of a neo soul guy making it into the Top 12 this year.
Grade: D
Tatiana Del Toro
"Saving All My Love For You" - Whitney Houston
Sweet zombie Jesus, it's Tatiana. I kind of completely love her because I can't figure out if she knows she's full of shit and milking some aspect of it for all it's worth or if she really is a "Crack is whack" Whitney-esque performer. If she's using the producers, I think it's awesome because it would serve the fuckers right for rewarding idiocy if somebody else banks on it. Then she sings pretty damn well. It's certainly the best rendition of this song on AI. She shows good control and in a weird way, her persona fits the song because... damn what's that movie with Glenn Close trying to kill the wife? Yeah, Tatiana's kind of a bunny boiler. The judges are pissed off because they can't knock her voice or comment on her being a nutjob because she's actually completely restrained. Simon comments that Tatiana and Paula are famewhores which is amazing. The judges get creepier than Tatiana but trying to do her infamous LOL, then Tatiana gives us a taste of her insanity by pleading for votes.
Grade: B+
Danny Gokey
"Hero" - Mariah Carey
Did you hear that his wife died? Ugh. I'm sorry if it's offensive, but I didn't realize that "widower" counted as a personality. Anyway, Danny's got a very good voice and doesn't need to resort to audience pandering, which is why this song choice is disappointing. I wish he would stop picking these fuckwit songs and sing something with some meaning other than "you're your own personal pocket Jesus." Technically, it's strong and a well paced performance The judges cream their pants over him and... fuck you show. Simon brings us back to reality, thank the deity of your choosing, and doesn't act like Danny just performed the miracle of resurrecting his dead wife on stage. Though I doubt the show would let him if he could because then he wouldn't have a sob story. This blows; a contestant with a great voice who is completely fucking indulgent and up his own asshole that I can't enjoy him singing.
Grade: B+
Should Go Through:
Ricky, Alexis, Anoop
Will Go Through:
Danny, Alexis, Michael
Wildcards:
Anoop, Ricky, Tatiana
Jackie Tohn
"A Little Less Conversation" - Elvis Presley
Tonight Jackie has decided to look like a neon bowling pin for some inexplicable reason. She looks like she decided to show up and perform in a spray painted outfit. It's so shiny and distracting. It's actually the only notable thing about her performance. She's technically fine, but her tricksy vocal stylings (mostly the constant nasal growling) coupled with the drunken rocker wannabe stage movements do her no favors. She also opens the show and after eight years of watching the show, we should all know that's the death slot.
Grade: C
Also, when the contestants make it back for the Seacrest interview, they jsut hug each other for more camera time, I mean to comfort each other. Therefore, the red room is now going to be reffered to as Hug Central. Though I still think it looks some sort of new set for a 2009 version of Legends of the Hidden Temple. Find that Silver Monkey!
Ricky Braddy
"A Song For You" - Leon Russel, Donny Hathaway
So Ricky is one of the two semi-finalists who has not been shown singing on the show prior to the live rounds. This is never something that bodes well for a idol contestant. It's a shame the show lost him on the cutting room floor because this dude has definitely got a voice. He's very professional, his tone is completely smooth and it seems fairly effortless. I'd honestly be disappointed if he doesn't get a second chance at the Wildcard. I think he should be in the Top 12 based off that alone but there's just no way with backstory juggernauts Danny, Anoop, and Michael in this round that he can pull the votes away. I don't think we've scratched the surface of his capabilities yet.
Grade: A-
Alexis Grace
"I Never Loved A Man (The Way That I Love You)" - Aretha Franklin
Apparently the judges told her to "dirty up" for the later rounds, so she decided that looking like a drag queen version of Nikki McKibbin would serve that purpose. Well, she's right mostly. So Alexis starts to sing and she's really radiating some Dusty Springfield vibes here. She's nuanced when necessary, she knows what she's singing about, and she's in great voice throughout the whole song. There are one or two phrasing issues that concern me, but considering she didn't have to go into the whole big notes win votes place Idol tends to be about to demonstrate some real stage craft and technique, she's got my vote.
Grade: A-
Brent Keith
"Hicktown" - Jason Aldean
Brent Keith's clip package breaks the show, which is amusing because you can her panicking producers yelling at Seacrest the whole time while h'es just thinking "fuck it. I'm running the show." It's awesome to see Seacrest be good at improvising. Apparently, he originally auditioned for Idol to be a judge rather than a host. I wonder if that means Randy Jackson would've ended up hosting? *shudder* Oh yeah, Brent. I don't know the song because outside of maybe some Carrie Underwood and Dixie Chicks who are really more crossover artists than pure Country, I rarely encounter Country on my iPod, radio, whatever. Having said that, it's fairly obvious the song requires some real heavy personality in order to pull it off convincingly and Brent doesn't have personality, so it just falls flat performance wise.
Grade: C-
Stevie Wright
"You Belong With Me" - Taylor Swift
Oh dear. This is what always happens to some poor contestant that shows promise in the early rounds. Simon told her she was singing songs that were too old for her (she auditioned with "At Last"). When Simon or any of the judges say that, what they mean is that the song isn't believable for you or your age bracket. "At Last" is about finally finding your love match after searchign high and low, being alone and disappointed, and a 17 year old is just not going to be able to sing that with conviction. But Stevie thought he meant chronologically yougner, so she chooses a Taylor Swift song, and she somehow is worse than Taylor Swift on it. It's too low for her at the beginning, which tehn throws her out of tune for the rest of the song. The judges really skewer her. There are only two impressive/notable thing about this: Stevie manages to not cry and shows great poise and professionalism for her age, while her parents whine about the confusing judges. There's a Neil Patirck Harris sighting in the audience that is legen... wait for it... dary!
Stevie's Grade: F
NPH's Grade: A for awesome, as it should be. How do I vote for him?
Anoop Desai
"Angel of Mine" - Monica
Anoops has got a lot going into this round: he's gotten a fairly tentative but spupportive backstory from the editors that make him one to look out for, rather than one to wait for, and that can go a long way in this show. Unfortunately, I think Anoop has made a mistake with the song choice here. He sings well, but that's never been the problem, so when he applies his usual R&B crooner stylings, it comes off as a "been there, done that" scenario. What would've suited him better would have bringing some funk and groove during this round, or a bigger song. It doesn't feel like he's pushing himself, and it's a bit blah. He's definite top twelve material, but he might have to get in via the wildcard.
Anoop Dawg's Grade: B
Casey Carlson
"Every Little Thing She Does is Magic" - The Police
Every year, the producers and the judges push through some random attractive brunette into the semi-finals who can kind of sing, but is so clearly out of their depth at this point. Enter Casey Carlson. Actually, I wish she and Anoop would've switched songs, cause I bet he could've rearranged this well. As for Casey, she's playing it start, but she's not reggae nor is she pop punk, so she just compeltely misses the boat. When teh judges tell her how full of wrong she was in choosing that song, she counters that she wanted to have "fun with a fun song." And... that made me feel sorry for her. It came across that when she made the semi-finals I think even she knew she had no chance at advancing and was just hoping for passable. Randy and Kara have a kind of mean girls moment when they sing "every little thing she does is wrong," which was amusing.
Grade: F
Michael Sarver
"I Don't Want to Be" - Gavin DeGraw
I'm still in shock that "roughneck" qualifies as an actual job title. Michael looks a bit like the big marshmallow monster in Ghostbusters. What? He's wearing white, he's really tall, built like a linebacker, and kind of doing this weird Carlton Banks dance to the song which resembles the way that Godzilla destroys Tokyo. Boy has got zero body rhythm, which is something I can relate to. The performance is a bit strange for me. I liked his voice the most out of all the rounds we've seen him but I think the song is too agressive for his persona.
Grade: B-
Ann Marie Boskovich
"Natural Woman" - Carole King, Aretha Franklin
Enter attractive brunette number two, except Ann Marie's had a bit of a musician's vibe at her original audition. For some inexplicable reason, she's chosen to sing "Natural Woman." Has she never watched this show before? So, she's trying to phrase it like Carole King, but the arrangement is footed right into the Aretha version, and she's trying to belt. I think she could've really gotten away with this is she had stripped it down to just a piano backing and crooned her way through it. There are notes she just isn't reaching well, so the performance is anything but natural.
Grade: C-
Stephen Fowler
"Rock With You" - Michael Jackson
Remember when Stephen fucked up "Time of My Life," also known as the David Cook magic rainbows song? The show doesn't want you to forget. When he redeem himself at the semi-finals? Nope. This is really disappointing for me, as he was one of my favorites from Hollywood. Stephen's voice is really one of the most relevant, contemporary voices in this year's competition, and he's pissing it all away on "Rock With You." If he was insistent on Michael Jackson, he should've gone with "Man in the Mirror." Damn you Stephen for not going back to fantastic. So there's no chance of a neo soul guy making it into the Top 12 this year.
Grade: D
Tatiana Del Toro
"Saving All My Love For You" - Whitney Houston
Sweet zombie Jesus, it's Tatiana. I kind of completely love her because I can't figure out if she knows she's full of shit and milking some aspect of it for all it's worth or if she really is a "Crack is whack" Whitney-esque performer. If she's using the producers, I think it's awesome because it would serve the fuckers right for rewarding idiocy if somebody else banks on it. Then she sings pretty damn well. It's certainly the best rendition of this song on AI. She shows good control and in a weird way, her persona fits the song because... damn what's that movie with Glenn Close trying to kill the wife? Yeah, Tatiana's kind of a bunny boiler. The judges are pissed off because they can't knock her voice or comment on her being a nutjob because she's actually completely restrained. Simon comments that Tatiana and Paula are famewhores which is amazing. The judges get creepier than Tatiana but trying to do her infamous LOL, then Tatiana gives us a taste of her insanity by pleading for votes.
Grade: B+
Danny Gokey
"Hero" - Mariah Carey
Did you hear that his wife died? Ugh. I'm sorry if it's offensive, but I didn't realize that "widower" counted as a personality. Anyway, Danny's got a very good voice and doesn't need to resort to audience pandering, which is why this song choice is disappointing. I wish he would stop picking these fuckwit songs and sing something with some meaning other than "you're your own personal pocket Jesus." Technically, it's strong and a well paced performance The judges cream their pants over him and... fuck you show. Simon brings us back to reality, thank the deity of your choosing, and doesn't act like Danny just performed the miracle of resurrecting his dead wife on stage. Though I doubt the show would let him if he could because then he wouldn't have a sob story. This blows; a contestant with a great voice who is completely fucking indulgent and up his own asshole that I can't enjoy him singing.
Grade: B+
Should Go Through:
Ricky, Alexis, Anoop
Will Go Through:
Danny, Alexis, Michael
Wildcards:
Anoop, Ricky, Tatiana
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